Men in Skirts

It’s been a while, let’s see if I can still channel the hatred that spawned LAX-JFK.

I’m all for being “different,” but being different for the sake of being different is going about it the wrong way.  It’s got to look good, it’s got to look right…

Skirts.  Worn wonderfully by women around the world for fucking-ever (and men in Scotland)!  Nothing better than a nice skirt, smooth legs and damn I wish that wind would blow on some Marilyn Monroe shit!  Now some “fashionistas” are fucking THAT up with hairy thighs, tan lined ankles and ashy kneecaps?

ASAP Rock(y)'s a Skirt

Exhibit A:  ASAP Rocky.  Harlem’s finset, but he ain’t so fly in a tie-dye tank dress a’la sales rack Forever 21.  I’m sorry, Timberland Grimey’s ain’t gonna preserve your Street Value.

Runway “looks” are meant to interpreted, they’re not meant to be taken literally.  A parrot worn on a model’s head SHOULD mean colors or feathers, maybe something tropical, however, it does NOT mean put a fuxking parrot on your head you dummies.

Fresh Prince of Skirts

Exhibit B: Jaden Smith.  Yes, I know who your Dad is and yes I’m STILL a HUGE fan of the early years, shit was cutting edge.  Your outfit, however, is on the cutting edge of Zena, Warrior Princess.  Only difference is I wanted to get up IN her skirt and I shutter to think what MAY be up in yours?

Kanye Weskirt

Exhibit C: Kanye.  What the beYEEZUS are you doin’man?  Seriously… if it weren’t for your personality, bi-polar disorder, tourette syndrome, God complex and dissent for the movement you created, you’d probably be my favorite artist.  Stop letting people tell you what to wear!  I know Kim runnin’ the show now, but damn sun, she got you in a skirt too?

… and before you go there, I know it’s designer, I know what it costs and I know they’re artists, but they influence kids.  This is not a good influence.  In 1937, Our Gang depicted Buckwheat in girl’s dresses and hair-barrettes, now you’re doin’it to yourselves?  I’m not knocking them for not looking like me, I’m knocking them for not looking like themselves…

I REALLY hope this shit doesn’t catch-on, but I may be too late.  My intent is NOT to sound homophobic, I’m just pointing out the simple fact that some shit is BETTER worn by the other sex.  What’s next, halter-tops?  Bellybutton Rings?  Stiletto Boots?  Bootie Shorts?  Y’all need to stop… unless your Prince.


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